July 2008 Archives

Rabbit Bigotry Rears Its Ugly Head

By
Tebbiki
on July 13, 2008 10:31 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)
Well, Readers, I suppose this sort of question was inevitable.  But fear not!  Dr. Westwood handles it with his usual aplomb! 
Keep those questions coming!


Dear Dr. Oliver,

Why should we humans take advice from you, a rodent? What a ridiculous idea! You should stop now, before you make a fool of rodents everywhere.

Rodent Repeller

Dear Rodent,

In your sad little attempt to defame me and rabbits everywhere, you have made a ridiculous error.
 
Let me state this in language that you might be able to understand:

RABBITS ARE NOT RODENTS.   

We are proud members of the ancient Order of Lagomorpha.   The difference is explained simply here by Cody Arenz and Garry Duncan at Nebraska Wesleyan University, in language that even you should be able to understand. 

If you'd care to learn more, try starting here, at Larissa's Bunny-Guide.  Where Larissa really does explain it all.  And maybe it wouldn't hurt you to check out the House Rabbit Society page.  Clearly, Rodent, you have a great need to learn. 

Please write again when you have a more intelligent question for me. 

Dr. Oliver

outstanding_in_his_field_edited-2.jpg
Here is my nearest rabbit-neighbor, a handsome fellow
recently photographed by my human. 
Like me, he is obviously outstanding in his field.

Why Does eBay Suck? One reader counts the ways . . .

By
Tebbiki
on July 9, 2008 11:06 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)
Here's yet another human seeking help from the good rabbit, and once again Dr. Oliver comes through!  Keep those questions coming!


Dear Dr. Oliver,

I have several questions I'd like answered, but to start I'd like to say that I admire your courage.  You are the first intelligent rabbit to come out declare to the world "I am smarter than you are!"  And certainly, we all are in need of a rabbit who is smarter than Dr. Phil.

My question, if you can help, is this:  Why does eBay suck so bad?!?!?

In the past, I sometimes earned extra money by selling things on eBay.  But lately, eBay seems determined to hurt sellers.  Their unfair fee and feedback policies make it hard for an honest seller to make any money at all.  Worse, I recently received bad feedback from a disreputable buyer and I have no recourse!  eBay won't let sellers leave anything but positive feedback, no matter what!  And eBay says that they won't remove the lying scumbag's feedback without a court order!  Do they think court orders are free???

I cannot seem to let go of my feelings of anger and resentment, hard as I've tried.  I feel I want revenge on the buyer and eBay as well.  It's all so very upsetting.  Dr. Oliver, what can I do?

Sadder Seller in Southdale. 

Dear Sadder Seller,

I feel your pain.  I have several shelves full of things I'd been planning to sell on that famous online auction site, but forewarned is forearmed, and fortunately for me I read of their unfair policy changes before I started any auctions.

Of course, we all expect huge, out-of-control corporations to be fair and honest all the time, don't we?  No wait, we don't.  We mustn't ever assume such fairness, because gigantic corporations are all about their own profits, and they don't much care about us little guys.   While we get all emotional about it and even angry that they don't care, we need to remember that we are angry at (basically) a machine.  A big, ugly machine that doesn't care if we like it or not. 

So I say, the best revenge is selling well.   Say "goodbye" to eBay and the past and look to your future. 

How about listing your items on Amazon.com?   Also there are lots of other auction sites, and a few are beginning to give eBay a run for it's money, thanks to eBay's restrictive, unfair policies and high fees.  Check out ioffer.com  or if you like animal-themed sites, maybe bidmonkey.com!  With just a little searching, I'm sure you'll find even more selling opportunities.  

And as for revenge on the scumbag who  filled your feedback with lies, just know that Karma will not be kind and one day, sooner or later, he will get his.  It's not up to you (or even up to me) to make this happen, and even if we tried all we'd do is hurt ourselves. 

So relax, take stock of what you need or want to sell, have a nice cup of tea and find your selling future elsewhere online.  I know you'll be successful because my rabbit instincts tell me you are a good, honest and kind person who has a lot to share with the world. 

Happy Selling!

Dr. Oliver

oliver bookshelf.jpgHmmm . . . Wonder what I'll get for this old Pokeball?

Family Time vs. Writing Time - What's a Writer to do?

By
Tebbiki
on July 6, 2008 4:17 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)
Well, the questions for Dr. Oliver Westwood, rabbit-genius, are already piling up!  And be assured, fans, we're offering them to the good doctor as quickly as we can. 
If he hasn't digested your question yet, be sure to check back daily. 
Haven't submitted your question yet?  Do it now, right here!


Hello Dr. Westwood,

  I have heard that you are multi-talented! As an author myself, I thought you could write about your girlfriend! You could call it Dr. Oliver Westwood and The Queen of the Hop.
Don't you think your fans would love it?

   Seriously though, I have a problem. How do I tell my family (the bunnies in my house) to leave me alone so I can get my work done? I don't want to hurt their feelings.

Thank you .

Surprise Sister


Dear Surprise Sister,

I understand your problem perfectly.  When I first began my life as a rabbit-genius, I had a similar problem.  I would retire to my study to think scholarly thoughts and create scholarly creations and soon enough my cat or one of my humans would come along and offer me carrots or expect me to play.  Fortunately, I realized quickly what the problem was:  My humans and cat didn't really think I was working. 

So here's what I did and what I advise you to do, too. 

Tell your family you have a new job.  Tell them it's the best job in the world.  A job where you are the boss, you only get paid if you work, and you can never be fired!   Remind them that although you'll be working at home most of the time, work is still work.  Set a schedule for yourself, and hang it up somewhere.  I put mine on the back of my water bottle, but you might consider posting yours on your office door (if you have one) or on your refrigerator.

The next step is important.  Follow your schedule and "leave" for work on time.  Before you "go," tell your family goodbye.  Give them a kiss, remind them where you left their kibble and alfalfa bits, tell them you'll be back very soon. 

bunny_kitty_kiss.jpg
Goodbye, Kitty.  I'm going to work now.

This method has worked very well for me, and I'm sure it will work for you.  Please remember:  If you treat your writing like a real job, your family will, too.

As for your suggestion that I write a book about my girlfriend, I must sadly reply that I gave up dating soon after I was neutered.  But the title is good, and using my name will certainly boost sales.  So I hope you'll write it, with my blessings.  I'll even write a glowing endorsement for the back cover when it's published.

Happy writing,

Dr. Oliver


P. S.  Check out these great sites for writers:

Once Written  
You'll find book reviews, contests and giveaways, and writing prompts.
RefDesk
Fact checker for the internet and "of the day" trivia to jumpstart your brain when you're looking for ideas.
Rob Parnell's Easy Way to Write
Lots of articles, tips, and markets, plus a writer's forum.

Want More?  You'll find these and other sites at the Writer's Digest list of 101 best sites.

Ask Dr. Oliver

By
Tebbiki
on July 5, 2008 9:20 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Rabbit With All the Answers

       When she realized she lived with the smartest rabbit in the world, a good friend called me.  "I must share his vast knowledge and wisdom with the world," she insisted, "Dr. Oliver Westwood makes Dr. Phil look like an old, fat white guy!"

       Although there's no way to really put it to a scientific test (that I know of) I felt my friend had a point.  So, I tested the rabbit myself.  I asked the bunny what he thought I should do to help him help others.

    I submitted my query in writing, and the next day I got my answer:  "Add an additional author to your blog."

    So I'd like to welcome Dr. Oliver Westwood to Tebbikiblogs.  Please submit your questions by emailing the good doctor.  I will spare no expense in printing your question on chemical-free, handmade paper, then I'll deliver it to the rabbit.  It usually takes no more than one day for your reply.  And it's free!

    You'll thank me later,

    Tebbiki

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